Love or Fight
by Akane16
Summary: Tony Stark x Steve Rogers, Mpreg. Tony and Steve started their relationship before the Avengers became a group, and they were happy. But the latest events of each damaged their relationship and Steve left, not only Tony, but also the Avengers. Tony wants to bring him back, to apologize for what he done. But will Steve forgive him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** So, new story~  
And unlike my previous ones, this one is following the Avengers timeline of the movies and it is not an AU :)  
With all the drama in my school this year, and with my stupid direction which I hope would dead soon or retire soon, there's nothing which cheers me up like writing about those two.  
The first chapter is crappy, as always, and I hope it'd become better in the next chapters :)

* * *

Tony dressed up in the suit he prepared, took the basket from his bed and walked out of his room, making his way to the elevator.  
He waited until it arrived and went up one floor, Steve's floor.  
Tony made his way to Steve's bedroom in the complete darkness, he didn't bother turning the light on.

He got in and put the basket on Steve's bed, taking a few candles out and placed them around the room, lighting them to make the room a bit lighter.

Then, he put the rose he brought in a vase which stood on Steve's nightstand.  
He had brought and threw away so many roses until now, but he continued.  
Every day he walked to Steve's floor and placed one rose.  
Everyday ever since he made Steve leave.

"Happy anniversary sweetie..." He said quietly and sat on Steve's bed.  
It was their fourth anniversary, and Steve wasn't there to celebrate it with him.  
He didn't blame him of course. He hurt the guy so much that he actually left the avengers.

And now…  
Now Steve was against him.

_'Tony-' _

_'Sorry sweetie, I'm busy.' Tony said in apology, 'but whatever it is I'd listen to you when I'd be back, promise.' _

_Steve sighed and nodded. 'Love you.' _

_'Love you too.' _

Only now he understands that their 'I love you' were fake ever since they started getting apart.  
He was really busy after the whole avengers thing. He fought another enemy and had to control his panic attacks. Steve wasn't there for him since he lived in the apartment Shield gave him, and Tony was a bit sad about this whole thing.

They started dating a bit before the avengers program. Nick introduced them to each other in order to make Steve get used to his situation.  
Tony didn't like it at first, and Steve wasn't happy about staying in a **very** modern tower but he had no other place to go to.  
And so, without any other choice he stayed with Tony, met his girlfriend, Pepper Potts, whom he started to hate from the second he started having feelings for Tony.

She was **everywhere**. Literally. He never saw her leaving Tony's side. Steve couldn't understand how Tony can put up with her behavior. She acted like a helpless female, and hearing her giggle made Steve really annoyed.

So at the times she wasn't around, Steve tried to get to know Tony better.

Usually he greeted Tony in the mornings with a cup of coffee, and breakfast of course.  
Breakfast was usually quiet but Steve tried to start small talks with Tony, which sometimes Tony responded with words and sometimes with shrugging or nodding.

At other times, he got into the lab with a tray of food and just sit there and talk with the brunet, listening to Tony's nonstop talking which kind of amused him.

Tony had a lot to say, and he couldn't talk with Pepper because it 'annoyed her' and such according to him. But Steve liked listening to Tony.  
Right, he didn't understand a thing but he got to know the guy better this way.

After a few weeks, they finally kissed.  
The first time they did, they both were surprised.  
Especially Tony since he always loved women and never thought he'd kiss a man.  
But Steve...  
Steve was different.

He actually wanted to get to know him, in all their talks in the lab, he didn't pretend.  
He really listened.  
And he wasn't as bad as Tony thought. He found the fact he's clueless about the modern world kind of...  
Cute.

And now, now he got nothing. Steve isn't with him anymore. He's not even around...

Tony got a box out of his pocket and opened it, looking at the ring. He wanted to propose Steve in their third anniversary. But that was the time Steve left him.  
He's carrying this ring around for a year and a half...  
Steve is not planning to come back.

It's his fault. He pushed the guy away when he needed him the most.  
Steve just fought Hydra again, he was having problems sleeping just like he himself had before.  
And he didn't help him. He wasn't there for Steve...  
If he can't be a good lover, how can he be a good husband?

"I miss you Steve..." Tony said quietly. He closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands.  
"It's my entire fault..."  
He just sat there. He lost him, he lost his lover, and he wants to bring him back but their meetings never ended well.  
He wondered how Steve is. Does he remember their anniversary or he decided to forget it?  
He was mean to the blond after he fought Hydra and lost his best friend for the second time.

He visited Steve only once in the hospital, and after Steve moved to the tower, he woke up from nightmares, but Tony was never there. He came late to bed, and Steve didn't tell him about this.  
Their relationship broke apart before they broke up.

"I'd bring you back Steve..." Tony promised, "I'd make you remember who you are."

.

Three days later Nick came to him with a mission.

They tracked Steve again and they want him to go and follow him, to see what he does exactly and to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone.

Tony took the file and nodded.

He'd find Steve, and he'd try to talk some sense into him.

.

Tony quietly sneak into the abandoned building Nick told him Steve hid in.  
He tried not to make too much noise so Steve won't notice him.

Ever since Steve left, he stopped with iron man suits. They are not the best thing to sneak in.  
So he continued training his fighting style, Nick made him Shield director, and ever since he's following Steve.  
They have been playing the cat and mouse thing for a year. And it was always the same.

Tony saw Steve, he was training.  
But it wasn't his usual training, he was way more aggressive.  
He watched the soldier train a lot during the time they were together, and it was way different from the Steve he saw now.  
He remembered what a kind heart the blond had, and now, because of him, it became dark and full with hatred.  
Tony tried to get closer without being noticed. He had to find out what Steve is planning.

But he slipped, and Steve probably heard it since he stopped punching the bag and looked around to see who made the noise. Tony tried to hide but he decided it'd be pointless.

"Who's there?" Steve asked a bit annoyed.  
Tony sighed and showed himself. He took a good look at Steve.  
He still had his stealth clothes, his shield was lying close to him.  
He was sweating from the practice and he seemed pretty annoyed.

"Steve-"

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked annoyed and took his shield, "wasn't our last meeting was enough for you!?"

Tony looked at Steve for a long while. "You are way more than just a shield. Drop it."

Steve threw the shield away. "What do you want, director?" Steve said coldly.

Tony knew that the light he always saw in Steve's eyes was gone by now.  
He wasn't the Steve he knew. Not anymore.  
But on the other hand, he wasn't the Tony he used to be neither.  
He changed, but he can change back.  
He wanted **his** Steve, but he knew that Steve won't join him just like this. He needs to try hard.  
He need to make Steve listen.

"I want to talk." Tony said calmly, "nothing more, please Steve."

A smirk came to Steve's lips.

"Talk?" He chuckled bitterly, "it's been two and a half years Stark! It's too late for talking now, don't you think?"

"Steve-!"

"Get out of here. Or I'll show no mercy." Steve said coldly.

Tony looked at the blond, who looked back at him, waiting for the moment he'd walk away.  
But Tony didn't want that. He wanted Steve by his side, and although nothing would bring him back, it was worth a shot.

"I admit," Tony spoke, "I was a total idiot. And I'm really sorry-"

"You think a 'sorry' would fix anything!?" Steve asked annoyed, "you…**you** caused this Stark! I don't even know where to start! With the fact that you didn't give a shit about our 'relationship' ever since the fight with Loki, or with the fact you-!" Steve's hands turned into fists, he attacked.

Tony tried to block him as much as he could but Steve continued attacking and hitting him.  
As much as Tony didn't want to hurt Steve, he attacked back.  
The fought for something that seemed like a few minutes, but when Steve managed to push him against the wall Tony understood with was more than a few minutes.

They both panted heavily.

Steve looked pretty bad and he was bleeding in some places, Tony assumed he looked bad as well.

"S-Steve...please..." Tony begged. He knew the kindness is still somewhere there, and he knew that if he'd try hard enough, his Steve would show.

"I warned you to leave me alone..." Steve said coldly, looking into Tony's eyes.

Tony saw what he never saw before. Anger, depression...

He ruined him. He ruined the pure heart and soul Steve had because of his actions.

He didn't treat Steve like he should have, he wasn't there for him during his hard time. He ignored him after the whole thing with the Mandarin, he wasn't the boyfriend he wanted to be.

Steve trusted him.  
He gave him a chance, and another one, and another one.

He drank, Steve forgave him.

He acted like a complete jerk, Steve made him stable again.

He flirted with random women, Steve reminded him it's not him anymore.

Steve was there for him in his lowest times.

When he drank his ass off to get over bad times, Steve explained him it's not the way.

They practiced together, they shared experiences, they went shopping together.

They made each other get over the bad times.

But that was before the avengers.

After that, nothing was the same.

Tony closed his eyes. "I know you deserve better Steve..." He said quietly, "but you make me a better person. I was going through a rough time and ignored you. It's not okay, I know that..."

They fought, a lot. Tony had nightmares, but he refused sharing them with Steve. He locked himself in the lab and stayed there for days.

He didn't even let Steve bring food in. He wanted everyone to leave him alone.

"I tried really hard to forget you." Steve slowly let go of Tony, "I don't want to see you again. Get the hell out of here and don't ever come back. I was wrong, you are not a good man and you can never be. No matter how hard I've tried, I failed." He turned back around and took his shield, "we don't belong together. Next time," Steve looked at Tony, "I'd kill you, director."

"Steve-"

"Get out!" Steve threw the shield at Tony.  
Tony ducked and started running to the exit.

Before getting out he stopped at turned to look at the blond.  
"I still love you." He said and got out.  
Well, that mission was a failure.

Steve looked at the exit. He couldn't believe that Tony actually dared to come to him and say he's 'sorry'.  
That won't help. He was wrong for giving Tony chances, he's not the guy for him and he would never be.

_'Tony...?' Steve slowly opened his eyes and looked at the side next to him.  
__It was empty.  
__Steve sighed. It was already the third time that week.  
__Tony just took off in the morning, he never stayed anymore._

_Steve closed his eyes. They started getting apart. He could hear it every time they said 'I love you', or every time they talked. Their replies were always short.  
They used to talk for hours, no matter what.  
Now they were lucky if they could hold a conversation for five minutes.  
it wasn't the same, they weren't the same. _

Steve punched the bag as hard as he could.  
Tony would pay for everything he done. One way or another.

.

"Another failure?" Nick asked when Tony returned.

Tony nodded lightly. Steve beat him pretty hardly.

Most of their meetings ended like this, it could have been much worse.

"I don't know what to do...he won't listen. He doesn't **want** to listen." Tony sighed. How can he make a guy who hates him not to hate him?

It's been a whole year ever since they broke up.

Steve left him a note he found only after a week.

_'I've tried. Really tried Tony. But it's not the same.  
_**_We _**_are not the same.  
__You changed, for worse, and I need you now more than ever.  
__I'm hurt Tony. I've been through a lot and our situation makes it worse.  
__I'm leaving. I don't want to see you ever again.'_

And that was it. Steve left and took with him what was left from his messed up heart.  
He took away everything, and Tony wanted him back.

"Stark, you do understand that Rogers is very unstable. If we'll let him continue, he might hurt innocent people."

"Steve would never do such a thing." Tony said, "He doesn't kill innocent people."

But Nick just looked at him.

Tony sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back into the chair. He can't think like that. Even when things were okay he couldn't predict what Steve would do next.

"So what now?" He said his last thought out loud.  
He never saw Steve like this, and he's asking for help no one can give him.

"You tell me." Nick stood up.

Tony sighed. He needs a plan. He needs to think how to get Steve back to him.  
Because without the blond, his life would fall apart.  
Steve was the one who held him together. Why only when he loses something he understands how important it is?  
Steve was the best thing that ever happened to him, he'd do whatever the guy would ask for him.

He acted like a jerk, and he wanted to fix it.

* * *

**A/N:** So...this is chapter one...  
The plot would be more understandable in the next chapters, though I'm not sure when I'd be able to update.  
My schedule is super tight with the course I'm taking now.  
Good luck to me.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Look who is active again!  
It's been like...three months?  
But I have finally finished my course!  
Though I didn't get the grade I needed...  
I'm about to finish my finals in Citizenship and...there isn't actually a word to this as far as I know, but it's the traditions and rules of the Bible which passed from father to son in order to glory god's name.  
I hate this subject and I find many of the subject there stupid.

Put that aside, now I'd upload more often since I would have more free time.  
This chapter took so long not only because of the time I didn't have but also because I had to re-write the whole thing.  
Literally.

I can't believe I'm actually doing it. I am actually uploading a chapter!

* * *

Tony lied awake in his bed, he had to think. He had to bring Steve back. Even if things between them won't be as they used to, even if their relationship won't continue. It is not the reason he is looking for Steve.  
Steve is a part of their team, and he became a close friend of everyone. He made Tony learn more about himself and be a bit more open person.  
He taught Tony what it is like to finally feel something, what it is like no to be shallow.  
And he simply missed seeing Steve around.

He sighed and closed his eyes, a little sleep won't hurt him, he was exhausted.

_'Tony.' _He heard Steve's voice_, 'it's your entire fault.' _

Here it comes. It is not the first hallucination he had about Steve.  
It took a while, but ever since the blond left he started having those on a daily basis. This hallucination always reminded him it is his fault, that he is not trying hard enough, that words won't make him come back.

He could literally see Steve lying there, in his favorite shirt and sweat pants, looking at him with a slight worry.  
"I know Steve..." He said quietly, "and I'm trying to fix everything, really."

Steve shook his head lightly_. 'You are thinking too much Tony. If you truly love me, if you really want me back, you don't need to think. You need to do. Actions speak louder than words...' _

Tony closed his eyes, a light smile came to his lips. "You told me that the day you helped me stop drinking..." He felt Steve's hand stroking his cheek. He missed that warm and gentle touch...he missed Steve so much.

_'I believe in you Tony. And I believe that someday you would understand what to do._'

Tony felt tears. "You are not real..." He said quietly, "the real Steve is in that place, probably planning how to murder me."

_'I miss you,' _Steve said quietly and closed his eyes leaning forward for a kiss_, 'I love you...' _

"I love you too..." Tony mumbled against Steve's lips and kissed him.

.

"Tony...?" A voice made Tony snap out of his daydream.  
It's been somewhere around the afternoon, of the late evening. Tony already lost a track of time.  
He rubbed his eyes and turned his chair and looked at the person. Bruce.

"Hey."

"'Hey'? I'm here for half an hour." Bruce lifted and eyebrow.  
That's right. Bruce did ask him if it is okay he'd join him. He had completely forgotten about that.

Bruce sighed, looking at Tony in worry. "Is it about Steve...?"  
All the Avengers knew what happened. But Bruce was a bit closer to Tony than the others, not including Steve, so he was a bit more concerned about Tony from time to time.

Tony looked down at the tool in his hand.  
"I…I just really miss him." He said quietly, "ever since I met him, my whole life have changed. For the best. Without him…nothing really seems to matter." Tony threw the tool away and sighed annoyed. He hated it, he hated being like this.  
Until he met Steve, he never needed something or someone so desperately.  
And now...  
Now can't imagine his life without the blond. He can't get used to the fact he's not around anymore.

"Tony, look...you and Steve, are complete opposites. But you know what they say, _'opposites attract each other_'. I'm sure that Steve would come back. Give him his own time to heal. He's hurt..."

Tony nodded.

He kept getting into Steve's room, the ring was in its place, some of the roses died.  
He bought now two everyday instead of one. He believed that by this time he'd get Steve back.  
But Steve didn't want to come back, he preferred staying by himself. Far away from Tony.  
He got to get it together. Steve need time and so does he. All he got to do it find a distraction, something that would keep Steve out of his mind for a while.  
Anything.

* * *

Tony quickly made his way to the abandoned building he saw Steve last time, hoping the soldier didn't leave yet. They are deep in troubles and only he can help them. When he asked for distraction, he didn't hope for **that** to happen.

When he got in he saw Steve fighting, so they got to him as well...  
But what did surprise Tony was that Steve wasn't satisfied with only knocking the Hydra off, but he KILLED each and every one of them, in some pretty awful ways which included him using his shield.

Tony decided not to just stand aside and help Steve, even though he knew exactly what the blond would say.

"What are you doing here!?" Steve asked annoyed, like he didn't have enough problems without Tony.

"I came on the behalf of the team. We need your help." Tony said slowly and calmly. He always had the problem of speaking without even realizing what he said. Not anymore. He got to talk Steve into helping them, he got to choose his words carefully.

He could Steve chuckle bitterly, following by a sound of breaking bones. "You got to be kidding me!" He said mockingly, "help? You want **my** help!? If you didn't notice I'm busy!"

"There are many more of them." Tony continued, "**many** more. They are hurting the citizens now, everyone who disagrees with them..."

"That shield's problem, not mine." Steve looked at Tony, panting lightly from the fight. He believed Hydra died after his mission last year. He had been through hell to stop them and now...  
Now there are many more of them. Steve looked around, counting the bodies. Thirty.  
Thirty Hydra people.

Why? Why can't they just leave him alone? Why do they keep coming and hunting him?  
It's been over 70 years ever since he found out about Hydra for the first time. He didn't think he would find himself, many years later, trying to stop them over and over.

"Steve..." Tony said calmly, "I know you are mad at me, I know I ruined our relationship. But I'm not asking you to help **me**. I'm asking you to help the team, to help the **innocent people** which are getting hurt as we speak!"

"Why do you need my help?" Steve asked coldly, looking through the clothes of the Hydra people for some clues, "you are the great Tony freaking Stark, you never need help, you are always doing things on your own, even back then."

"Steve-"

"I'm not going anywhere with you." Steve stood up, "I don't trust you."

Tony looked at the emotionless face of the blond. He caused this. Steve is right, what makes him think he can go to him and ask for his help if he was the one who pushed the blond away?  
But they need Steve. Only he dealt with Hydra twice, he knows them the best.

"What if I send someone else here?" Tony asked hopefully, "just come back to the Avengers tower-"

"No. I'm not stepping a foot into that place as long as you are there." Steve gave Tony a look, "if you got nothing better to offer I suggest you better leave."

Tony quickly scanned his mind for a possible place for them to stay. The tower, shield HQ, his house, they all were out of question.  
"How about here?" Tony asked. He was really out of options, and Steve probably knows this place better than him, nothing would surprise him.

Steve thought about it. He didn't want to stay in the same place with Tony at all, and he didn't want to help him. But even if he hated Tony, he still cared about the people, he still believed that people shouldn't take advantage of their power to hurt the weaker. He knew what Hydra can do, and it won't end well if someone won't do something.

"One condition-I don't want to hear from you after that."

And so, Tony called the team to gather in the abandoned building while Steve got rid of the bodies.  
Stark, having Tony Stark back into his life after he finally got rid of him. What did he do to deserve this?  
Steve sighed, telling himself it won't be for long, just until they'd beat Hydra. Which he really hoped that won't last for too long.  
.

A few hours later he saw the team getting in, looking around. They were nearly like strangers to him.  
He just greeted them, they greeted him, and that's it.  
Of course, he is not the Steve Rogers they used to know, and he didn't count himself as a part of the Avengers.

They all got comfortable around the building and looked at Steve who looked back, confused. He didn't understand what they want from him.

"What are the orders captain?"

"I...why do I need to give the orders?" Steve asked confused.

"Because you are our leader?" Clint asked like it's obvious.

Steve wasn't sure how to respond. He was sure they'd be mad at him for leaving only because of a fight he had with Tony. But they acted as if he didn't leave.  
For all the time they spend together ever since they met for the first time, they became close like a family. Steve looked at the team, they all were serious and he could see they hope he'd help them win this fight and stop Hydra once and for all.

"I'll..." He sighed, "we all need rest. I'll make sure no one would be able to enter. I would think of something and we'll talk tomorrow." Steve walked away. It's been a long time ever since he lead a team since someone asked him for orders.  
It felt weird for him now.

.

It was night time already, he asked for details from the group, to understand where exactly they are standing and in what position Hydra is in.  
After he got all the needed details he told everyone to rest.  
Steve lied on his improvised bed, looking at a picture, the only thing he kept from his relationship with Tony. It was a picture from their first date, the first chance he gave the brunet.  
He looked at the picture and the only thing he saw was two strangers. He didn't recognize himself anymore or Tony. They changed, he wasn't that naïve guy anymore. He didn't smile like that anymore.

And Tony wasn't the same anymore either. He changed ever since he dealt with the mandarin. He became the director of shield, something he said that won't ever do. He was busier, he barely was with him.  
And what was worse is that...

Pepper.

He hated her. Why couldn't Tony let her die?  
Well, maybe it was a bit harsh. She was Tony's friend and Steve can't hope her to die just because he doesn't like her.  
Tony didn't know one thing. And it's that when he saved the president, Steve was there. He wanted to help his lover but when he heard him calling Pepper 'perfect'...  
He just sat on the warehouse roof and watched.  
He watched as Tony blew up Killian with Mark 42.  
He watched as Tony sat there, and let Pepper kill the Mandarin.  
He watched as Tony hugged her, calling her by names and promising she'd be okay.

But he didn't want her to be okay.

They hugged, he blew up his suits. And Steve made his way back home, he didn't even try to make Tony know he's there.

He ignored his phone calls, wanting a bit time to think about everything he saw. He had spent a few months to make Tony open up, to try and make him talk about what happened.  
But it didn't work out.  
And seeing Tony, acting like everything was okay from the start confused Steve.  
.

The next day he talked with Tony, and things seemed to be a bit better after he had calmed down. But it still didn't change the fact they weren't like they used to.  
Steve moved to live in the tower. He and Tony shared Tony's floor. But even then, when they were finally happy, Steve had to deal with Hydra.

Steve sighed and put the picture away. After they'd beat Hydra, he won't have to see Tony again.

.

The next day Steve woke up early. The rest of the team was still asleep, so he tried to make the least noise he could.  
Only when he reached the door to get out he noticed he was wrong, he wasn't the only one awake. Tony was a few meters away from the door, messing with tablet.  
It looked like he didn't sleep the whole night.

Steve hesitated, he wasn't sure if to stop and tell him to go to sleep or continue his way without saying a word.  
In the end, he gave up. "Go to sleep." He sighed as he opened the door.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked, not lifting his gaze up.  
But before Steve could answer Tony interrupted.  
"I'm coming with you."

"No," Steve said in light anger. The fact he agreed to team up with Tony in order to stop Hydra didn't mean Tony could just decide things on his own.

Tony stood up, putting the tablet away. "I'm not asking you."

Steve started getting annoyed. But he knew Tony, and he knew the guy can be stubborn. Really stubborn.  
"Do whatever, just stay out of my way." He said annoyed and walked out, followed by Tony.  
.

Tony didn't ask a single question during the whole time or say a word. He followed Steve and made sure not to make a noise even though he had no idea what's going on.

It was a long walk, but Tony didn't complain even once. He volunteered to join Steve, and he really didn't wish to get on the blond's bad side even more. The fact Steve let him join was surprising, and he had no intention to ruin this chance.

After a while, Steve stopped Tony. Tony looked at him and then at the facility in front of them. At this point, he couldn't help it but ask Steve.  
"Where are we?"

Steve kept quiet before answering as if he was thinking what exactly to say.  
"This is Hydra's base, sort of." Steve finally said and kept moving on, Tony followed.

"How do you know?"

"I have fought Hydra last year, and 70 years ago." Steve gave Tony a look, "I think I know what I'm doing." He said bitterly.

Tony kept quiet, regretting that he said something. He really didn't wish to annoy Steve more than he already was.  
Since his skills weren't close to Steve's, he didn't think he'd manage to follow him into the facility, but he managed to do that somehow.  
He looked at Steve who seemed to study the place, thinking where exactly they should go.  
But before they managed to take another step, a Hydra agent noticed them.  
His warning didn't seem to bother Steve since before Tony could respond, the agent was already lying dead next to Steve's feet.

"Let's keep going." Steve moved the body away with his leg and started making his way into the facility.  
Tony followed without saying a word. He wondered if what happened between them really turned Steve into **that** kind of a person or something else was involved as well.

He looked at the Hydra agents who walked a few floors beneath them. They were so many that it only made Tony wonder how Steve managed fighting against them over and over.  
He looked back at Steve, noticing he had left him far behind. So he started walking faster to catch up.

Steve turned to see if Tony is still behind him. He wanted to go alone, without worrying that someone would do something stupid that might expose them.  
Something that Tony was about to do.  
And before Tony could understand what is happening, he bumped into Steve's with his face. And a second later a hand exchanged the shield, covering his mouth the prevent the pain groan escape his mouth.

"What was that for?" Tony hissed when Steve finally moved his hand away.

"Watch where you are going." Steve said coldly and turned to keep walking. Tony looked down and noticed a motion detector

"Alert system," Steve explained, "don't stay behind."  
Tony kept following, checking if his nose is bleeding since it really hurt. He wanted to say Steve he could warn him a bit nicer but decided not to do so.

Soon enough they saw the main computer.  
"We need to get there." Steve said and looked beyond the railing, looking down to find a way to get there.

"Hey you!"

"Shut up." Steve used his shield to cut the guy's head off.  
Tony felt a bit sick but tried not to show that.

"'Cut one head, two shall its place,' huh?" Steve mocked, kicking the head away. He quickly scanned the floors beneath, trying to find a way not to be seen. It didn't seem like they can get there without meeting another few agents on their way.

"Rogers, why are you doing this?" Tony asked. He couldn't ignore the fact Steve became a complete different person.  
Steve ignored him, thinking about a plan.

"Steve!" Tony grabbed Steve's arm when Steve started walking away. He wanted an answer, he hated being ignored by the blond, he hated the fact he doesn't see Steve anymore.  
He hated the way Steve acted toward him.

Steve turned around and looked at Tony with the blank expression Tony still couldn't seem to get used to it.  
"You director, got no right to ask this." He said in anger, "I own you** nothing. **I should have let the Hydra agent get you. I didn't ask you to join you." Steve made Tony let him go and kept walking.  
Tony just stood there for another few seconds before following.

It cost another few agents' lives, but they managed to make it.  
Steve took out of his pocket a flash drive and looked at Tony. He knew nothing about computers, and Tony knew a lot.  
But if he would ask for help it just means he trusts Tony. And he didn't.  
Steve sighed frustrated. They were short on time and apparently Tony was his only chance.  
"Sit." He said and inserted the flash into the driver.  
Tony obeyed, waiting for instructions.

"Gather all the info you can find." Steve looked at the door, ready to attack anyone who would try to get in.  
"Think you can connect their power system?"

"Easily."

"Do that too and shut it down for as long as possible."  
Tony nodded and started the work Steve gave him. It wasn't that hard, shield's system was a bit far more secured but he still broke it.  
And Hydra's system, it was like a child's game.  
The view of Steve killing those agents managed to distract him. Even if they possibly deserved it, he never saw Steve like that. That was a side of the blond he hoped he would never meet.

Suddenly an alert sounded around the facility. Steve cursed. That was the last thing he wanted to happen.  
Tony kept searching for data, but he asked Steve what they are supposed to do now.  
Steve thought about it before telling Tony to 'keep looking' and went out to stall the agents.

When everything blacked out, Steve understood Tony finished the job. He got rid of the agents which just kept coming and looked for Tony.  
He grabbed his arm and before he could ask he blindly got dragged by the blond out of the facility.

.

"Where have the two of you been?" The group asked when Tony and Steve returned.

"Stark hacked Hydra's computer." Steve took the hand computer Natasha brought with herself and inserted the flash into it.  
The whole team kept quiet while Steve looked at the files Tony transferred.

"Bruce." The blond walked toward scientist's direction, showing him what they found.

"Their defenses are weak...but we need Time."

"We have two days."

.

Steve tried to think of a plan. Thet don't have much time and those Hydra agents are people.  
It won't be as easy as it was with the chitauri or the helicarriers in his last mission. They probably need shield's help, and the last thing he wanted was to ask Tony's help. Again.  
"Think Rogers."

.

Steve panted. He was exhausted, and so were the team. But at least they managed to do it.  
He looked around him. Hydra agents were down, the team looked relieved. They all need a long rest after all of this. The look reminded him of 2012, their first fight together as a group.

But he, he wasn't a part of this anymore. It is his choice.  
Steve sighed and slowly started walking away, he promised to help and now his job was over.  
He didn't get far before shield agents surrounded him. Steve was surprised and confused.  
What was going on?

"Captain Rogers, you are under arrest. Don't try to resist."  
Steve chuckled bitterly. Even with his serum he was still tired to fight them all. So with not other choice, he dropped his blood covered shield and let the agents cuff him.

"I would escape your prison." He looked at Tony and let the agents lead him away.

.

Steve sat in his prison cell, starting to get bored. He still didn't touch the food they brought him. It amused him how careful they tried to be with him, worried he would attack them.  
But he had no interest in the agents who worked around. He waited only for one person, his ticket out of the cell.

And eventually, that person came.  
Steve smirked as his cell door opened and slowly lifted his gaze up.  
"Stark, fancy to see you here."

Tony looked at Steve. He felt a bit uncomfortable with the situation. The last this he wished for was Steve ending up in jail. And the fact Steve was so relaxed made him worry.  
He took a deep breath to calm down. The Steve he knows should be somewhere in there, this can't last forever.  
"Look, Steve. I'm sorry for this, this is not any of my orders."

Steve pressed his lips together, a hint of amusement was showing on his face. "This what worries you?" He asked, "god Stark, you act like a child."

"This is not what I came here for."

"Then why didn't I do to gain the pleasure of seeing you?"

Tony was unsure of what words he should use exactly. He had so many things he wanted to say to the soldier that he didn't know where exactly to start.  
He tried to make an order in his head, to put his words correctly into sentences.  
Steve just sat there and watched Tony. The guy always had problems when it came to talking.  
Or apologizing.  
It was something even Steve couldn't help Tony with. Only Tony can overcome this problem.

"Steve," Tony finally spoke, making sure he won't say anything wrong, "it's been a year. You are not giving me a single chance to try and fix things-"

"What can you fix?" Steve said brutally, "I gave you another chance, and another and another. You failed me every time."

"You didn't give up..." Tony said softly, "straight from the beginning I have told you over and over I can't handle a relationship, I have told you that you should give up. But you didn't. You kept trying, you kept putting up with my shit and you kept helping me to open up a bit more. _'I don't give up on the people I care about'_ you said."

Steve didn't respond. He remembered saying that, he remembered everything. But it simply wasn't him anymore. He once had hope that Tony would finally stop pretending, that Tony would finally stop living behind the wall he built around himself and open up to people.  
And it actually worked for a while.  
But after the fight against Loki, Tony wasn't the same.  
And no matter how hard he tried to help him, Tony locked him out.

When Tony realized he is not going to get a respond from the blond he continued. "I know I fucked up Steve. But I still love you, and even if you don't give a shit about me I still want to know what I can do to fix this somehow. The team is missing you. **I** miss you."

"I don't trust you." Steve chuckled in disbelief, "you can't fix this Stark. Give up."

"Steve-"

Steve stood up and pushed Tony against the wall.

"Listen to me director, I am not the same naive guy they found in ice, okay? You can't toy me with your words and do as you please." Steve paused to study Tony's expression, which looked hurt with a hint of worry.  
"You let those...feelings," Steve said that word with full disgust, "control your life."

All of sudden, Tony felt a pain in his stomach. His worry turned into surprise. He slowly looked down, seeing Steve pulling a knife out.  
"You can't win with feeling, 'dear'." Steve let go of Tony, letting him slide down to the floor.  
He took his access card and looked at Tony one more time before standing up.  
"Until next time." Steve ran away.

Tony closed his eyes, pressing a hand against the bleeding injury. He let Steve ran away. It was no use talking with him, but he couldn't help it by try.  
_'You can't win with feeling.'_ Was what Steve said, wasn't it?  
Tony chuckled ironically. Steve was the reason he started feeling, and now...

.

Steve looked at the knife he stabbed Tony with. Tony's blood was still on it. Those stupid agents didn't check all of his pockets.

Tony tried to win this thing with feelings...

_'I still love you.'_ Steve thought about Tony's words from their meeting.

Love...

Tony didn't have a clue what love is. He couldn't believe he actually fell for that guy.

Love...

They loved each other once. But that was four years ago, on their first anniversary.

They never celebrated their second.

He left on their third.

And their fourth...was as if their love never existed.

"Love..._'love is for children',_" Steve remembered Natasha's words to Loki, "This...is not love Tony. This...this is something different." He threw the knife on the punching bag. It stayed there, stuck.

"For you...director...it was a game." He stood up, "you tested my patience..." Steve smirked, "you never felt true love. You don't know what love is. And yet, you said you 'love' me so many times I actually believed it."

.

Tony slowly got into the familiar building. He had a little hope that he would find Steve there, but the place was abandoned.  
Of course, what was he thinking? Steve won't stay, not after all of what they been through.  
Yet...  
He couldn't help it but have the little hope in his heart that he'd find Steve there.  
With no other choice, Tony repeated his steps and walked back to the door. But before getting out, something stopped him.  
Next to the door a note was being pinned by the knife Steve stabbed him with, together with a picture Tony recognized.

_'Director,  
__You said you love me once. __But do you even understand what love is?  
__You faked it so many times, I can't believe you now.  
__I'm leaving._

_Don't try to find me.' _

Tony read the note over and over, letting the words crave into his brain.  
He turned his head to look back, scanning the empty building.  
Steve actually thinks he toyed with him, he actually thinks he was using him.  
But it wasn't like this. He never meant for everything to end up like this.  
He never intended to fail the blond...  
He never...

"I'm so sorry Steve..." He said quietly, taking the picture, "I messed everything up. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I ignored you after having a rough time. I'm sorry..." He pressed a light kiss against the picture, holding back the tears that threatened to burst out.  
"I love you...I **really** love you Steve. I never meant to play with your feelings..."  
Tony dropped the picture. He doesn't need another hurtful memory from Steve. He had enough of them already.  
But he took the note with him and opened the door, looking one more time and at emptiness before understanding Steve is not going to show up and walked out.

Steve sat there and watched as Tony walked away. He hid out of his sight to make Tony believe he really disappeared. He can't risk being seen by the director again. He got to keep a low profile for a while.  
Love. Tony spoke about this...love again. It sounded real, but he didn't know it's meaning anymore... He didn't know what that word meant.

Because for him...

Love died a long time ago.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, there you go. Chapter 2.  
One of my friends really hated it because of the way I wrote about Steve.  
But he won't stay this way for long, it's Steve after all :)

(Here are some Stony doodles I made during the time I was inactive:  
. /22d3e87470a9c9bed1a1df0a897be99d/tumblr_nhb8hjTZLO1sh34xyo1_ )


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